I understand it's a busy holiday season. But it's not like I'm that much more of a bitch than most people. Sure, I can BE a bitch if pushed to it -- but it's not like I go walking into a store looking for an argument. I always say "Hi, how are you?" when I get to the register and politely turn down whatever express card they want me to take part in. So why is it that I get shit on by these people who are usually uglier and older than me? I should be doing the shitting, my friends.
Take for example, the lady at the Target Greatland that Tootsie and I happened to visit this past Saturday. After I put my card into that machine that sucked it in, I realized that the screen wasn't changing. I said something to the 60ish woman at the register, to which she IMMEDIATELY replied with "What did you do?!". Now, granted...I am a very unlucky/clutzy person. If you have a drink with no top, I will spill it. If there is debris on the ground, I will trip over it. If there is a machine that will eat my debit card, so be it. But, I calmly said back "I didn't do anything, I just put the card in."
After about 3 minutes of this woman beating the machine to try to get my card out and repeating "What did you do?! What did you do?!" (to where I am getting angrier and angrier with my repeated phrase of "I just put the card in, I just put the card in."), Tootsie and I started to smell smoke. And it seemed, that it was coming from that same machine...my card still within it's clutches. At that point, I looked at Tootsie and said "If my card is melting right now, I am going to be FUCKING pissed." I then understood that there was nothing "nice" left between me and this woman, and it would be an all-out war if she uttered the phrase "What did you do?!" one more time.
Now there were 3 clerks, a security man and about 3 or 4 disgruntled customers all surrounding the machine with my card stuck in it. They were talking about the horrendous smell it was making, and should they call someone, are people ok. Blah blah blah, cut to me getting more and more frustrated with the fact that this old bat is still doing nothing useful to return the card to it's rightful owner -- ME. I knew, in all my frustration, that this was still a ridiculously funny moment, so I couldn't help but join in when Tootsie started laughing.
FINALLY, a kid walked over and took apart the machine in about a minute flat. But as he was opening the machine, the woman continued to be a douche bag, but changed up her phrase just a smidge to "She did something to it." I finally lost my nerve and looked right at her and screamed:
"I DIDN'T FUCKING DO ANYTHING, I JUST PUT THE CARD IN THE MACHINE AND YOU CAN STOP FUCKING BLAMING ME FOR YOUR FUCKED UP MACHINES, THANKS."
The woman and the kid both jumped and looked at me like I was going to pull out a knife and slit their throats. I grabbed my receipt and my non-melted card (thank jesus) from the woman and as if the interaction couldn't get any more rediculous, she had the audacity to say "Have a nice day" to me. As this was coming out of her mouth, I cut her off to scream at her "MERRY CHRISTMAS" turned around and said (in what I thought was quiet, but later I found it was not so quiet) "Fucking bitch."
Thus ends one of my MANY examples of why I hate shopping. I try to be nice, I try to be courteous -- and this is what I get. Bullshit. So if anyone has any interest in seeing a scene, come shopping with me -- it'll be a hoot.
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