Nature: 1, Fevah: 0

This is one of those times of year where you think you can get away with being totally graceful on ice and snow.

But you would be so wrong in thinking such a thing.

I couldn't be more painfully aware of how clutzy and ungraceful I am at this very moment. As I sit here at my office desk, wishing this day would be over, (so I could get my hair done by one of my favorite people on earth, Trixie, and so I can get closer to the hour that I pick up Crazy Train from the airport) I am reminded at how retarded I am when it comes to winter weather.

Melody and I had just finished a wonderful dinner at Panera (if I could inject an IV of their broccoli cheddar soup into me, I would) and we had to stop off at my dad's house to switch over my laundry before we went to the Loop for some xmas shopping. Yes, I may hate xmas, but I can still fucking shop for it.

And as I got out of the car, listening to Melody talk about her finals the next day and the vast superiority that penguins have over whales, I failed to realize the giant patch of black ice directly underneath me. And as I fell, I could only imagine that this was the day I was expecting. 2 months of no derby and no physical strain, and I'm about to fuck that all up with one stupid ass fall. I landed directly onto my right knee (upon which I started cursing as if there were no tomorrow) as well as planted my right hand into a snowbank. And after the initial pain of the knee-smashing subsided, I realized that it was almost worst to have a mitten full of snow.

Melody then bravely picked me up off the ground and carried me into the house. But as we were walking up the stairs to the porch, we both realized that even though the driveway was filled with black ice, and the porch steps still had snow covering them...the BBQ grill was immaculate. Can you imagine that? In WHAT world would a person think "Hmm...well fuck the walkways, as long as I have my grill, that should be good enough."

The answer is: My Father. The man who would watch his own daughter slip and fall into PERIL, but make a cheeseburger with ease. I mean, god love the man, but sometimes I wonder. I now have my knee bandaged and ready for the world, but it's a constant reminder that I suck at nature.

I can only wait to see what this new year brings me. Oh goody.