Shame.

I've come to realize the most awkward encounter there is on this Earth.

It's not meeting your possible in-laws for the first time. It's not meeting your husband's mistress. It's not with your boss after you've done something horribly wrong. It's not with your friend after you've been in a huge fight. It's not with a parent after you've messed up something big. It's not even with a Coach or Captain when you fuck up on the track.

The most awkward, almost uncomfortable encounter there is?

The moments spent as you are trying to get something out of the vending machine, while the vending machine guy is there to refill them.

Yes, you heard me right. To me, there is nothing more uncomfortable than standing at the vending machine, trying to decide what snack (or snackS) you want, as the man who is waiting to refill said machine is standing right there next to you.

Watching you. Judging you.

It's a feeling that you can't explain or even really understand. You feel completely guilty for taking what seems rightfully his. Should you show off and get a healthy granola bar? Or should you just stop and say "Who am I kidding?" and grab a candy bar loaded with chocolate and peanuts and goodness of all kinds. Then what happens if you wanted a drink? Do you go for the double purchase? Or do you try to save face and come back when you think he has finished refilling the machines? These are life's questions, my friends.

Unfortunately, I don't have any answers. It's one of those things where you pray to God you got it right and won't regret it later on down the road. It's a moment that will make you stronger than you could have ever imagined. And as you press the "B5" buttons, you can rejoice in the fact that even if it was the wrong choice, it was YOUR choice. And that, is a Christmas miracle in itself.