New & Improved Massacre Stats

Ok, so as some of you may have noticed, last years Regionals I wrote a blog in regards to Eastern Regionals in OHIOOOOOOOO. I only felt it was fair to update my blog with newer stats. I will start by copying and pasting some of the same questions from last year with updated answers...

*Number of games played: 4

*Amount of time it took for our room to look like a bomb went off: About 5 minutes, seeing as there was no dresser to put clothes in, only kitchen cabinets.

*Number of Jello shots consumed in 1 evening: NONE! We had no time between games to go out drinking (even though the damn hotel offered FREE BEER!!)

*Number of times Claire D. Way pushed Fevah out of her chair: NONE! Holy crap, that doesn't seem right now that I look back...

*Number of times the Massacre actually went out into the light of day: This time, we actually had to go outside to get to the venue...so many -- but it was well worth it

*Amazing quotes from QSand: STILL too many to count

*Number of times hotel staff were told off by Fevah: 0, the hotel staff were AMAZING!! Especially the lady who shuttled us to the grocery store and waited in the parking lot while we ran around like it was Supermarket Sweep. They even turned a blind eye as Buse and I brought glass into the pool/hot tub area. Big no no.

*Number of times Lady E was worn: THANK GOD, STILL ZERO!

*Fried food consumed: I can't even begin to tell you how many fried cheese curds our team as a whole ate that weekend. Soooo good. Other than that, we had some minor issues finding regular food in the immediate area.... ("Is this just fucking tomato paste? I don't even care, I'm eating it with a fork...")

Now, let's add some NEW stats, shall we?

*Number of times we watched the Lawrence Welk Show skit on SNL: Roughly? 30. With my by myself!

*Number of times we referenced that SNL skit during the weekend?: 358,675,579,478 times.

*Number of times the phrase "This room looks like diarrhea." was said: 4

*Number of times we said "OHIOOOOOO", even though we were in Madison: approximately 68

*Number of times Philzie asked our room who was playing "Frankie Crack Corn" when in reality, it was a Bach cell phone ring: 1

*Voices lost from screaming ALL weekend: 15 team members, 2 managers, 10 family members/friends/Sig. O's, and whoever the fuck was in the Coliseum while we played any of our games. Hells yeah.

*Bruises on Breaker from telling us to call off the jam: 1 on each hip.

*Snacks given away to random strangers by Q, even though I drunkly wanted those fucking cheetos: a few bags.

*Strip clubs visited: 1...VISIONS! Thank god for amateur night.

*Drunken phone messages from Fevah to Spite: 1, and there only needed to be one.

*Number of awk interviews done by me and Claire: 1

*Number of times Buse used the "awkward as an upsidedown turtle" gesture while on the track: 1

*Drunken conversations with Racer McChase-Her about our love for the phrase "JK JK, BUT NOT JK, OK A LITTLE JK.": 1

*Injuries sustained by Feevs on a toilet paper dispenser in the bathroom of the strip club: 1 cut shoulder. NBD.

*Variety of songs made up by Buse/Claire/Feevs & Q with the words "Tootie Tinwhistle" involved: at least 5

Once again, I know there are SO many things I'm forgetting and maybe I'll continue adding on if I have the chance. Madison was fucking incredible, and I've never been prouder of being a part of the Massacre. Sadly, that tourney did mark my last games with the team and I can only DREAM that I will have something that awesome if I start to play with ACDG.

I will say, that it was definitely NOT the same without my Twinsie...she was sorely missed by our whole team, but mostly me! Thank god Poppa Feevs was there to deal with my crazy. I HEART YOU BOSTON!!!!